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Welcome to Captain Nipples Online Due to some recent acts in Congress. You now have to sign a disclaimer to enter this site. This is in order to protect us, and you the valued viewer. You MUST Read and Understand the Disclaimer completely! |
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The Captain Nipples Disclaimer
This domain name is not for sale. This site contains no nudity. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. No animals were mistreated or abused in posting this document to the network. Batteries not included. Contents may settle during shipment. Use only as directed. No other warranty expressed or implied. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. This is not an offer to sell securities. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for some viewers. For recreational use only. Do not disturb. All models over 18 years of age. If condition persists, consult your physician. No user-serviceable parts inside. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Subject to change without notice. Times approximate. Simulated picture. Please remain seated until the ride has come to a complete stop. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. This product is meant for educational purposes only. For off-road use only. As seen on TV. One size fits all. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. Colors may, in time, fade. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross. Warranty void if serviced by non-authorized personnel. Edited for television. Keep cool; process promptly. Post office will not deliver without postage. This can contains a head-enhancing device; do not shake vigorously. List was current at time of printing. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. At participating locations only. Not the Beatles. Don't try this in your living room; these are trained professionals. Penalty for private use. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. Do not write below this line. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Your cancelled check is your receipt. Ceci n'est pas une pipe. Avoid contact with skin. Sanitized for your protection. Be sure each item is properly endorsed. Sign here without admitting guilt. Slightly higher west of the Mississippi. Employees and their families are not eligible. Beware of dog. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. No passes accepted for this engagement. No purchase necessary. May be hazardous to health if consumed in excessive quantities. Not responsible for typographical errors. No returns unless defective. Use only in a well-ventilated area. Keep away from fire or flames. Replace with same type. Do not put the base of this ladder on frozen manure. Approved for veterans. Some equipment shown is optional. Price does not include taxes. No Canadian coins. Not recommended for children. Reproduction strictly prohibited. No solicitors. No alcohol, dogs or horses. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. First pull up, then pull down. Call toll free number before digging. Driver does not carry cash. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only. Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear. Linux is a registered trademark of Linus Torvalds. Do not fold, spindle or mutilate. Sold by weight, not volume. Your mileage may vary. This supersedes all previous notices unless indicated otherwise. |
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You MUST be at least 199 years old to enter this site!!! |
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Disagree |
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